Funny how life can be ...

I wanted to be a famous actress, singer and/or writer. I got glimpses of the professions, but no fame, and maybe that's just as well ...

‣ I did a fair amount of acting in Des Moines, Iowa, where I lived from 1974 to 1997, in plays such as King Lear (the Fool), The Odd Couple, and Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians and The Mousetrap. I finally realized I couldn't rehearse and act all evening while working ten-hour days without getting really sick at the end of the play's run, so I retired from theater in 1987.

‣ In college and in Des Moines I did a lot of folksinging for many years but eventually ran out of audiences - and the fingertip calluses necessary for playing 12-string guitar aren't there anymore.

‣ I wrote two (good, I think) books, never published, and have had writer's block since about 1978.

I wanted to be married. In King Lear I met Richard Wulf (shown left in his signature role as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof), a professional actor with incredible talent, much older than me, and we fell in love. After 11 years together, we decided we'd finally marry - and he died suddenly a month later. It was the worst shock of my life, but now ... he'd have turned 81 this year, and I am just 58. The age gap, not so important when I was 31 and he was 54, would be immense today.

But while I didn't get any of the things I wanted when I was younger, I've found and learned things that are of equal value ...

‣ I learned I had bipolar disorder.
It explained the depressions I've had since childhood. Medication has helped me enormously. This also gave me the opportunity to get a job with About.com running their Bipolar Disorder website along with my good friend Kim from Florida. We've been doing this site for 10 years now.

‣ I learned to grow plants from seed and design gardens.
Although most years I drive myself over the edge by buying and growing too many plants, there's no doubt that gardening gives me deep satisfaction.

‣ I learned to make websites.
My 11-year-old web design business is still very small, but I love the creativity. Redesigning this NTW site this year was a joy to do.

‣ I learned how to stick to a budget.
When I bought my first house in 1979 (for $18,000!), I found myself deep in debt. By sticking to a no-toys budget, I pulled myself out of it. I'm as proud of that as of anything else I've done. And the experience is going to stand me in good stead now, because I will have to move this summer and things will be very tight again.

So while there's no fame and fortune for me, there's personal satisfaction. I may not be producing great fantasy novels, but I do a lot of writing for About.com. I may not be married, but I'm comfortable with myself. And after living in my mother's house for 11 years, I'm really looking forward to having my own house again!

Marcia